What a week! Here’s a little of what’s been going on with the Finn fam:
Violet (6) loves her baby brother. 🙂 Can you tell? Haha.
She loves reading to him, going for walks with him, and basically doing anything she can to be near him.
Ellie (3) is also crazy about Huck. She is so protective of him and sweet. Earlier this week Ellie got SO mad when anyone would say Huck was their brother. “No, he’s MY brother,” she would say to them. “MY BROTHER. SHE IS MY BROTHER ONLY.” I love Ellie so much.
So, we’ve been dealing with Daisy having a massive flea situation. NOTHING we do works to get rid of the fleas. We’ve coated our house with flea powder, dusted our backyard with diatomaceous earth, given Daisy medicine, flea baths, flea spray, topical treatments, etc…
I mean…with that fur, she’s basically a flea paradise.
She was due for a grooming, and it’s been HOT – so we called our groomer, Judy, but she was booked solid. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got out the clippers and tried to shear Daisy myself.
I got about 1/8 of the way through her fur before Huck woke up from his nap – so then Evan took over. Evan got another 1/8 through Daisy’s coat before the girls were begging Evan to take them to the beach.
So, off to the beach they went, and Daisy spent the week missing 1/4 of her coat. It was not a good look – but what are you gonna do? I figured out why groomers make the big bucks. It’s dang hard work!
Us “grooming” Daisy in our side-yard. Ha!
On Saturday morning, bright and early, Daisy went to see Judy the groomer. Judy did a close cut on her – and gave her a flea bath and a flea dip (whatever that is). Daisy was still wet when we went to pick her up.
And…after all that, she still has fleas. I’m about to lose my mind! Just keep swimming…
In other news, Evan took the girls rock climbing this weekend. I stayed home with Baby Huck while he took the sisters out for the afternoon. Ginger (9) has been asking to go for awhile, and we have a rock climbing gym one mile from our house.
Ginger loved it. Evan sent me this picture – and I immediately texted him back, “WHERE is her harness and helmet?!”
So, five minutes later he texted me this picture:
Ellie (3) climbed a little bit:
And so did Violet:
Paprika (11) tried climbing, but she wasn’t a fan – she has a fear of heights, for one thing! We agreed that the next time Evan takes the girls climbing, Paprika can stay with me and I’ll take her to lunch or the beach. She was so happy to hear that – lunch and the beach is more her speed!
Ginger climbing – she got really scared the higher she got, but she kept going:
We also took the girls (and boy!) to Sand Dune park. Ellie on the swings – she’d just run up a huge sand dune, so that’s why she looks so flushed:
This is the huge sand dune. You can see Ginger on it if you look really carefully. This is zoomed in very close and the whole bottom is cut off – it’s enormous. The girls ran up and down it a few times. Talk about a workout!
Baby Huck is just happy all the time. I’m serious. He’s the first baby I haven’t worn much in a baby carrier. With the girls, I always had them in the Bjorn or Ergo – mostly to keep them happy. With Huck, I can’t do that very much because of my pelvic separation issue (still not improving). Thankfully, he is happy all the time no matter what. I don’t want to jinx myself, but he is the most laid back, sweet, happy baby. He doesn’t cry in the car. He smiles at everybody. He is patient and content. He’s pure JOY. I don’t know any other way to say it.
Huck taking a nap at the park:
An early morning trip to La Brea Bakery:
Last Thursday (July 12th) was the 10 year anniversary of Vivian and Annemarie’s birth/passing. I’m not going to lie – it’s been really hard and emotional sifting through all the memories and feelings associated with their deaths. I am so happy and grateful for the life I have now – you know that I never take that for granted. Having a newborn brings up so many emotions naturally – and it’s just been hard to think about the what-ifs of my life had they lived longer. I have felt really quiet and not wanted to talk much about it this year. Evan and I had a special dinner on the anniversary – which was so nice. We were both pretty sad that day and introspective.
I didn’t bring up the anniversary with the girls because I knew that it would severely depress Ginger. She’s so sensitive and especially with her thyroid issues (hashimoto’s) – she can spiral into a gloomy state pretty quickly. She’s still very fragile with things, and she feels emotions so intensely. So, I didn’t bring it up – mostly to protect her.
It is hard to reconcile what would have been with what is. I try to live in the now and be present for every moment. So, looking back leads me into funky feeling territory. I do miss Vivian and Annemarie, though. I think about them all the time. I love the family we have now – and I miss them, too. It’s hard. Ten years later, it’s still hard.
What can you do? I feel like their deaths separated me from life as I knew it in a deeply radical way. It changed everything. It always will change everything. It’s something that can’t be undone, can’t be fixed, and can’t be tied up in a pretty bow.
One thing – this is a lighter note, because I know that this is getting heavy. Years ago, I used to think of the song by Dolly Parton (and later made famous by Whitney Houston): I Will Always Love You.
Bittersweet memories/ that’s all I’m taking with me…./Goodbye, please don’t cry/ we both know I’m not what you need./I will always love you…
That song still makes me think of Vivian and Annemarie, silly as it sounds.
But in the past few months (ever since I re-watched Mama Mia with Paprika) – the song that goes through my head when I think of them is…Winner Takes It All by Abba.
Seriously…I know Abba is cheesy, but I can’t help these things:
I don’t want to talk / About things we’ve gone through /Though it’s hurting me/ Now it’s history./I apologize if it makes you feel sad/ seeing me so tense, no self-confidence/ but you see, the winner takes it all. the loser has to fall. it’s simple and it’s plain. why should I complain?
After ten years, maybe I’m making some progress?
Anyhoo – I’m doing okay. We’re all doing okay. If nothing else, we have each other and we have pastries. 🙂
Until next time, be well and enjoy the summer.