I’m standing here, rocking Miss Ellie (8 months) to sleep, at the end of a long day. Mr. M has been working very long hours. He was working all weekend long and he’s still at work, in fact. He loves his job, which makes me so happy because it makes him so happy.
Last week, he edited some beautiful pieces for Dancing With The Stars – this one about Bindi Irwin was a highlight, for sure. So beautiful! Please watch it if you get a moment, it really says something about grief and loss, and the journey we take in this life as we say goodbye to those we love. I’m immensely proud of Mr. M, so I have to share:
At the end of each day, I’m amazed by how much happens in my own little sphere here at home, and in his life at work. He goes through a million ups and downs, only a few of which I am privy to at the end of the day.
And here at home, it seems like we can live a whole life in one single day. Even when we just stay home! 🙂
I capture fleeting moments in photos and videos, and they’re all pretty ordinary snapshots. Even so, they are so beautiful to me!
Today, I made waffles – twice! Daisy ate the first batch when we weren’t looking. 🙂
We did school work. The girls played outside in the backyard. We drew and did art projects. We cleaned up. The girls played make-believe. We cleaned up some more. Ellie napped (briefly). The girls played with water in the sink and it spilled all over the bathroom floor.
It was 96 degrees outside, so we cranked the AC and laid on the carpet together and rolled around in the coolness.
Ellie sat up and then she crawled.
The girls played with Ellie and made her laugh.
Ellie cried (she’s teething). I fed her a billion times (nursing) to try to comfort her. I changed her diaper many times, too! She always lets me know when that needs to be done. Ha!
I did laundry, dishes, and swept (also a billion times). I cleaned up dog poop and hosed down the kid toys in the backyard. I took out the garbage from every spot in the house. I cleaned the homeschool room after it got covered in playdoh, glitter, paper scraps, and crayons.
The girls had a pool party in the little plastic baby pool. They sprayed water all over each other and decided two minutes later to go back indoors, soaking wet, trailing their muddy wet feet across the floor.
We ate ice cream around the dining room table together.
I made dinner, and then watched a Periscope live stream on my phone. I was feeling a bit run-down, and it’s just what I needed to recharge.
While I was “recharging” (holding Ellie in the Ergo), Violet (3) ran around me in circles and tore the house apart and drew all over the dining room table in pencil. Mr. M is much more attached to the table than I am – so I just vowed to clean it before he saw it (I did!)
I helped Paprika with her math lessons. I watched her typing. I gave her a thousand kisses – she asked me to last night, so today I made sure I did!
I organized the books on the bookshelf. I read stories to Violet (3) while Ellie played with toys on the rug.
I fixed snacks forty-seven million times. I cleaned up snacks forty-seven million times.
I brushed their hair and braided it.
I washed four loads of laundry, folded two and put them away.
I played pretend with Violet and Ginger, and acted surprised when Violet told me she was really a Fairy and not a girl. I let Dr. Ginger (age 6) give me a check-up using a duster and an some anti-itch cream:
I watched them draw. They made puppets out of paper, pencils, and tape and then they hung them on the wall for me to discover:
I listened to Ginger and Paprika practice piano. Ginger made up her own songs and sang at the top of her lungs. Paprika practiced her pieces for her lesson. I told Paprika I thought it was the radio playing and not her – because she sounded like a true professional. She liked that!
I helped them pick up their toys.
I watched as they dragged their toys out to play with them again five minutes later. 🙂
It all sounds a little mundane, doesn’t it?
But not really to me. I know they won’t be little for long. It is already going by so quickly. I don’t want to look back and regret the times I missed. I want to be here, present for them, right now.
I have some big projects and plans of my own, dreams that I want to fulfill in this life.
But nothing is bigger to me than being here, being present with my girls, and being a partner to them on their journey.
Sometimes I think – what if I die and I never get to fulfill those other big dreams and plans that I have? What then?
I guess the short answer to that is: I can only do what’s best for right now, for this time. My time right now won’t come again – it has an expiration date. As do all times, I suppose.
There will be time later for me to do my projects and fulfill those big (and little) dreams that I have. And if it doesn’t work out? Then, I let that go. Because to sacrifice this time now for those other dreams just won’t do. This dream of being here, and being present in the lives of my girls while they’re little – that’s a huge dream of mine, as well.
And that’s a day! An ordinary day, when we didn’t even leave the house. And yet so much happened – a whole lifetime, right? I want to remember this. 🙂